Since I had to completely recreate my website due to an error between a database and WordPress, I lost all of the content that I had posted over the past 5 years. I was completely sick to my stomach when my husband told me that he wasn’t able to bring back the old website, and if he downloaded the newest version of WordPress I would lose everything. If nothing was done, then amyrschumaker.com would have no access to anyone (even me). So tonight, I was over looking at my old blog on Blogger.com to see what posts I had there. Felt kind of like reading an old diary.
Anyways….there was one blog in particular that I thought I would repost over here. The article link that is posted in the old post does still work. I encourage you to read the article and think about what it means to you. I strongly encourage you to read this if you are a professional working in the adoption world, an advocate of adoption, and/or if you are part of the adoption constellation.
Blog posting from June 17, 2010:
I ran across an article that is worth sharing. I can not remember where I found this articl,e but it must have been from another blog that I was reading tonight. If I can remember which blog it was I will include it in with this blog to thank the blogger for bringing this article to my own attention.
Anyways, back in May of this year Newsweek featured an article called, “Why Birth Moms Deserve Respect”. Click on the title to read the article. I am always ready to bite when I see titles like this. I didn’t know where this article was going to go but hey…I didn’t have much to do since I am sitting here listening to the hum from the computers in the sever room here at home. Ok…back to topic here. hahaha.
The article starts off saying how today’s society really focus’ on two parts of the Adoption Triad which being the adoptive parents and then the children, but tends to leave out the most important part of the triad, us birth mother’s. When society thinks or even refers to us birth mothers they depict us as drug users, unfit mothers, or teens who don’t have the maturity to care for the child on their own. But for those of us who are in the adoption world, we know that there are more of us every day people out there who thought that placing our child into another woman’s arms was the best choice at the time for our child.
Society has recently brought the adoption themes into movies, books, and even television shows. The article as talks about this. In movies such as Juno or Knocked-Up it shows unmarried women as either some opinionated teenager or as cutesy blonde woman who is freaking out about being pregnant. Now don’t get me wrong, I truly love both of these movies and Knocked-Up is not for the young eyes to see or really revolve around the adoption world…but it shows what we think when it comes to Birth moms. The article brings up the adoption plots in television shows as well. Glee, Brothers & Sisters, and even Friends have all had adoption themes, where only the child is the one involved.
By still making fun of the adoption world…people in real life still tend to look down at adoption. Even six years after placement, I get the odd looks and “oh’s” when I tell people that I placed my daughter into an Open Adoption. I often wonder what they think about, but I know what they are thinking. “How could she just give up on her child?” But these people are the ones who are not willing to open their minds and see the whole picture.
I like a part of the article that says, “Our society has lifted much of the stigma of single motherhood, but still finds it difficult to support a woman who is, as they see it, abandoning her child. These women are told: ‘How can you possibly give up your child? What kind of person could do that?’ So while adoption is listed as viable option, it’s a choice that’s rarely made.” I believe this is a very true statement.
I would hope that Adoption thoughts would become more real and not so taboo in today’s society. If we look back in time…we see open adoption but just not in full form with the name adoption. When a mother was unable to care for her child, her family would step in and take care of the child and gain custody if needed. How is that not adoption? It is in my eyes. Even now with the majority of families being now “blended” families how is that any more normal or ok than adoption?
So think about your thoughts and feelings about adoption verses some of the thoughts I have placed in here. I bet you have thought some of these yourself without even knowing it. You think adoption when Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie adopt a new baby, or when another celebrity adopts because it is the “cool thing to do” right now. You think of these movies and television shows that poke fun of pregnant woman who has to decide whether to parent her child or place it into a family. But what you really should think about if you were in the same situation or if you were an infertile married couple who would love to adopt a child and know how it feels to love a child. You should really think about the emotions that the Natural mother or Birth mother feels when every holiday, mother’s day, or birthday comes around.
So like the article says…Birth mother’s deserve some respect in today’s society.